Recently, I took one of my nine-year-old twin boys, Makai, with me on a work trip to Phoenix. It didn’t go as planned—not even close. But as it turns out, what felt like a missed opportunity became a cherished memory. Because sometimes, parenting is just a matter of perspective.
The schedule was very tight. I had an appearance that evening, a speech the following morning and then we would fly straight home to Utah. When Janson and I were considering whether one of the kids should come with me or not on this quick trip, we decided that if I took the earliest flight out to Phoenix, I could enjoy a few hours doing something fun with Makai before my commitments would take place.
Why I Started Bringing My Kids on Work Trips
There was a time in my life when everything seemed out of balance. When I was working, I felt like I should be home with the kids and when I was with the kids, I felt like I should be working. I felt like I was missing everything and constantly trying to play catch-up in every area of my life, but never quite arriving to where I wanted to be. It took a toll mentally, physically and emotionally and I knew something desperately needed to change.
As I took time to sit down and analyze the various areas of my life, I began to see that some of my stress wasn’t just about circumstances—it was also a matter of perspective. One of the major sources of tension was the amount of time I was traveling away from my family to fulfill work commitments.
“Can I work in the field that I love AND find balance with my family life? Or do I need to give up the career of motivational speaking so that I can be with my kids through their younger years?” I wondered.
The decision that I made was to continue speaking, but whenever possible, I would try to take one of my four kids with me on my trips and try to do something fun and memorable with them while I was there. As I have done this, it has brought so much joy in my life as I have found a work and home life balance that fits my circumstances.
It’s Easy to Feel Optimistic When Things are Going Well
With the excitement of a child on Christmas morning, Makai anxiously awaited the day when we would head to the airport for the first ever “mom and Makai” trip. He packed his bags five days before we left and during that time, courageously slept without his favorite stuffed animal “Warmy”, just to be sure that it would make the flight to Arizona with him.
When the long awaited day arrived, we loaded the car with our carry-on bags, a backpack full of snacks and card games, and drove to the airport. His eyes were glowing with excitement as he saw the planes landing while we pulled into the economy parking lot.
“I’m so excited!” he exclaimed, while tucking his arms tight into his chest and shaking his fist rapidly.
Immediately, he saw the shuttle, arriving to pick up passengers and carry them to the airport. He didn’t want to wait a moment longer than he had to, so he literally opened his car door, ran around to the other side, opened my door and began pulling me out of the driver’s seat. We grabbed our bags and I followed his lead, running to catch the shuttle, and sat down on a seat across from him.
His eyes were as active as a kid in a candy shop. He was trying to take everything in – the people, the sounds, the smells, the sights, and even the feel of the metal pole he was holding as the big bus went into motion.
After a five minute ride, we came to a stop in front of the check-in platform. He pushed past all of the shuttle passengers, grabbed his little carry-on suitcase, and jumped off the bus.
“Come on mom! We are here! I don’t want to be late!”
The passengers smiled and laughed at his excitement. As I apologized for his lack of patience, I grabbed my bag, stepped off the shuttle and tried to keep up with him.
Finding Joy in the Little Things
He was excited about the long line we had to wait in. Going through security was even more exciting! He thought it was the coolest thing ever to put his suitcase up on the conveyor belt as an x-ray scanned its contents. Then it became even cooler when his suitcase had to go through the additional security check.
“Is this suitcase yours?” The security guard asked Makai.
“Yup!” He shouted with a smile.
He looked up at me with eyes wide in amazement. He couldn’t believe that he had been picked to be the special traveler! The one with the special suitcase that would receive a special check.
I put my hand to my forehead and couldn’t help but shake my head and smile. I’ve never seen anyone so excited to have their suitcase opened up and their contents revealed for a security check.
The security guard opened his suitcase where Warmy was situated comfortably in the middle of Makai clothes. The security guard pulled the stuffed animal out of the suitcase and held it up. Makai was beaming from ear to ear. He absolutely loves that matted, stained, worn out, microwavable, stuffed animal sloth! And he just knew the security guard would love him too.
The security guard noticed Makai’s excitement and smiled back.
He tested Warmy and found no threat. Then he placed him gently back in the suitcase, zipped it up and gave it back to my son. Makai thanked him and we were quickly off to gate A9.
I had planned on arriving at the hotel in Phoenix with plenty of time for us to catch an Uber and do something fun before my work commitment would begin. However, if I have learned anything as a parent, it’s that plans rarely go as expected.
When Plans Go Sideways, Perspective Is Everything
By the time we grabbed a little bit of food, used the restroom, filled up water bottles, and made it to our gate, we had about 10 minutes until it would be time to board the plane.
“Let’s play a game!” Makai said as he unzipped his backpack and pulled out a deck of cards.
“I don’t think there’s enough time. Let’s play a game when we get there.” I said.
Just then, an announcement was made over the intercom that our flight had been delayed 30 minutes.
“Darn it.” I said in response to the delay. “We’re going to have to wait a little longer to get on the plane.”
He looked up at me, beaming once again. “Now we can play cards!”
Every 30 minutes for the next four hours, we were informed that our flight would continue to be delayed. Eventually, we learned that there was a mechanical issue with the plane that we were supposed to be on and we ended up changing our departure gate. Each time the intercom came on and informed us of the change of plans, you could hear grumblings from the passengers and their worried disapproval.
Although I tried not to show it in front of my little buddy, I too was very frustrated and sad that I now wouldn’t be able to do something fun with him once we arrived at our destination. The time change would now require me to go directly to my event, and I felt like it was a missed opportunity to be with him.
We arrived in Phoenix and attended the work events. The company was extremely gracious to Makai and made him feel very special for being there. Immediately following the breakfast speech, we got in the car, arrived at the airport and flew straight home.
Big Disappointment….
Upon landing, we took the shuttle back to our car and drove home. Still disappointed that I didn’t get to do something fun and special with Makai, I pulled into the driveway and let out a big sigh.
Makai was excited to be back home. He opened the car door, grabbed his bags from the trunk and sprinted to the front door.
“We’re home!!!” He shouted.
I followed behind him and set my bags down on the floor.
Janson gave me a hug and welcomed me home, knowing that it was a missed opportunity to spend quality time with Makai.
….Or Best Trip Ever!
Then he turned to embrace Makai. He wrapped his arms around him and lifted him off the floor to give him a big bear hug.
“How was your trip little man?” he asked.
Makai’s response blew me away and made my eyes fill with tears.
“I got to play card games with mom for four hours!!! It was the best trip ever!”
Life is simply a matter of perspective.
I had been so focused on what we didn’t get to do that I nearly missed the beauty of what we did—uninterrupted time, card games, laughter, presence.
In his eyes, the trip was perfect. And maybe he’s right. Maybe it was never about the itinerary or the activities. Maybe all along, it was about being together—just the two of us, making the most of whatever came our way.
He saw the joy I had overlooked.
And in that moment, I realized the truth he already knew: Life is simply a matter of perspective.
Quote to Ponder
“The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.”
Question to Consider
How can you practice an optimistic perspective in your life?
Understanding that life is a matter of perspective can make all the difference
Learn how to be more optimistic by clicking on the links below:
How Service Shapes Personal Growth: Lessons from Everyday Struggles – In this article, Noelle challenges herself to a unique experiment and discovers how service shapes personal growth through powerful real-life stories. Her simple shift in focus transformed her life and the lives of others.
Mindset Minute Video – I Like Me and That’s Enough – Children’s book illustrator, Stephanie Goodman, shares that when you get rid of your negative head trash and focus on your positive qualities, you can learn to see the good in yourself and really like who you see. A great example that how you see yourself truly is a matter of perspective!