š§ Traycen’s Courage to Face His Fears Inspired Me
A couple weeks ago, our 14-year-old boy, Traycen, was asked to share a short message with our church congregation. It would only need to be four or five minutes long. But to a 14-year-old boy, talking for five minutes straight can be near impossible to do. Not to mention public speaking is just one part of his journey in overcoming fear.
šØ A Childhood Full of Fears
As a toddler, Traycen had extreme fear and anxiety about many things that surround us all on a daily basis. He was afraid of elevators, afraid of heights, afraid of large crowds, afraid of dogs (one jumped on him and pinned him down at a park when he was 3). He was also afraid of swimming in water and speaking in front of people. And he was absolutely terrified of swinging on swings at a playground. Overcoming fear was not a one-time eventāit became a theme in his young life.
šØāš©āš¦ Our Approach to Helping Him Grow Courage
We knew that these fears would be a challenge for us as parents to navigate. We also knew that we needed to figure out how to best help him. What should we do? Should we keep him away from his fears? Should we try to shield and protect him from them?
After researching a handful of options, we came to a decision that we felt was best for us and him. Ultimately, we decided to support him step by step in overcoming fear. We did this by using small moments to help him grow and prepare for his future. So, one fear at a time, we would actually try to put him in situations where he would need to face fears, learn, grow, and adapt.
In the beginning, it meant that there were many tears shed. They poured like rain as Janson held him tightly in the elevator to show Traycen that it would be okay. I remember trying countless times to help him pet an animal before he would actually consider it. Months later, I held his hand with my own, and together we pet a nice dog next door so he knew that he could be safe around animals.
š§ Overcoming Fear Through Tears
Helping him navigate his anxiety took courage on our part too. It meant that we would push him out into the water with his life jacket on, while staying an arms-length away from him. Through the screaming and the tears, he would splash in the water, desperately trying to make it back to us. As a parent, it was extremely difficult not to pull him out immediately and tell him he didnāt have to do it. But we persisted because we knew these were challenges he could overcome.
Each of these moments became small but powerful steps in overcoming fear.
The first time we pushed him away in the water, it was only for 5 or 10 seconds. Eventually, after a handful of days of swimming, 5 or 10 seconds turned into 30 seconds. Then 60 seconds turned into 5 minutes or more.
Little by little, situation after situation, his anxiety diminished. Now his courage and confidence is in full view all these years later.
š¤ The Day He Took the Mic
I asked him if heād like some help planning his talk for the congregation. He told me he wanted to do it by himself. (Iām not gonna lie, I was a little proud and pretty nervous by this response.)
On Sunday, when his name was announced from the pulpit to come share his message, he stood with confidence, walked up to the microphone and began to speak.
Knowing how far heās come in overcoming fear, watching him step up to the podiumāstill pushing past fears that I know were swirling around inside of himāwas enough to bring tears to my eyes. He is choosing each day to have courage in this world of challenges.
Traycen spoke of the peace and strength that comes to us as we put in the hard work and effort to prepare for our future. He shared some of the challenges that we face each day and how taking time for self improvement will help us to have the best outcomes. Then, he concluded by saying that he knows that the challenges we face in our lives will only help to prepare us to be the best version of ourselves possibleā¦if we face those challenges with faith and courage.
He sat down in his chair in the front of the room, looked at me and smiled. Then let out a huge sigh of relief.
šŖ What My Son Taught Me
I have many fears and stresses that swirl around in my mind as a parent, a small business owner, a daughter of aging parents, a speaker, a citizen in my community, and in many other areas of life. Many times these fears keep me from taking any action at all.
But Traycen reminded me that the only way we can improve is to take action, have courage, have faith, and to keep moving forward. Like Traycen, Iām learning that overcoming fear starts with taking the first step. What I choose to think and do today, will help to prepare me for whatever comes tomorrow.
š Final Thought
Stay positive and be hopeful about the future, and then, when you have courage to do hard things, at the end of the day you can look back at your accomplishment, take a breath, smile, and feel the peace that comes from overcoming fear.
Quote to ponder: āWhat would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?ā -Vincent van Gogh
Question to consider: What new opportunities could open up for me if I could overcome this fear?
Click on the links below to learn more About Overcoming Fear and Growing Confidence
- Shifting Gears in Life: Read how Noelle faced her fear of mountain biking while riding a trail with her son.
- Mindset Minute Video – Face Your Fears: Watch actor Charan Prabhakar as he shares an entertaining story from his younger years where he summoned the courage to face his fears just in time to save himself from a nighttime intruder.